Love me two times

The last time I wrote in here I was moving because my sister got pregnant and I was dating a guy from work. Now I am on a much more smaller apartment, because I can't afford something better, the guy I was dating dumped me and my sister is about to enter her 8th month of pregnancy.

First off, we always thought that my sister was bearing a boy, but on the 28th of June we got confirmation that she was having a baby girl. It was the most beautiful piece of information I got in a long time. For my mom and sister it was disappointing, but they are getting used to the idea.

Now, the guy. We got two months of happiness. I really liked being with him all the time. Then he got fired. It was completely my fault, at first he joked about it but then I think he started to believe it. We started to fight for no apparent reason more and more every time, he even walked out on me one time. That was the beginning of the end. We didn't talk for three days. I was not going to be the first to break the silence, because he was the one with the problem. On the forth day he came and told me he couldn't be with me and throw in some lame excuse about caring too much about me and not wanting to hurt me, I don't now. He spent the night... we had sex... he left the next day.

A week later, he dropped a letter in my house telling me he loved every moment with me, which got me mad because if he cared so much about me, why would he break up with me in the first place. Of course I asked him what the hell he meant by that letter and he just said it was something he wanted to say. I got so mad, I has starting to get over him and he does this and says it means nothing. We had a very long talk that night, I asked him to try and have a relationship again and he said he'd think about it, which in my book means "let me find the nicest way to say I don't want to". I tried to be patient but I couldn't wait more than 3 days. That's when he told me he had been seeing his ex-girlfriend while I was at work. That was when I really got the message: he wanted to get back to his ex because I wasn't good enough for him. That really destroyed me. He had me completely fooled that I was important in his life, when in reality he just needed a little distraction from his ex-girlfriend.

It's been a month since all this now. he didn't even try to contact me, proving I was right to begin with and now I'm trying to pick up the peaces of my heart. Because he really changed  my life for good, but then he just stomped all over me like I was trash. I really hope that some day day you read this and realise that I really loved you for a second there and I really thought that you did too, but I guess I was stupid to believe such a thing, I mean why would you, right? By the way, I truly think you should get back with your ex, because she's what you are looking for and what you deserve. Oh, and that letter your wrote to me out of the most selfish act ever, I throw it in the trash the last day we talked.